The Salt King of Tim-Opolis is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tim Stark with an iron fist, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, smutty television, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 18.885 billion Northerners are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winterfell. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The thriving Tim-Opolisian economy, worth a remarkable 4,650 trillion Crowns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 246,248 Crowns, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 986,468 per year while the poor average 41,245, a ratio of 23.9 to 1.

Retail staff are trained to take both inside leg measurements and the lives of their enemies, unused plastic recycling bins are being dumped into landfills by the tonne, a stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal, and the nation's poor can be seen scavenging trash bins for used coffee grounds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tim-Opolis's national animal is the Direwolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Adjeism.

Tim-Opolis is ranked 160,637^th in the world and 282^nd in Spiritus for Most Pacifist, with 4.69 Cheeks Turned Per Day.