The Pit of Endless Despair of The Pit of Endless Despair is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Godfrey G Golden with an iron fist, and notable for its aversion to nipples, zero percent divorce rate, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.683 billion Customers are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry and Spirituality are also considered important, while Environment and Education receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Francisco. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Desparate economy, worth a remarkable 2,078 trillion Shekels a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 311,035 Shekels, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,892,018 per year while the poor average 3,069, a ratio of 942 to 1.

For some reason the census focuses on daily banana ingestion and hourly quip rate, supermodels maintain their skinny form by running away from government officials, minority religions have been reclassified as "heresies we stamped out", and pirates armed with sonar-guided semi-autonomous torpedos and laser weapons systems are often seen capturing fishing trawlers. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Pit of Endless Despair's national animal is the Landlord, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Capitalism.

The Pit of Endless Despair is ranked 115,510^th in the world and 4,727^th in Lazarus for Largest Populations, with 6.68 billion capita.