The Compassionate Republic of Headpat Central is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, complete lack of prisons, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 14.713 billion Headpat Centralians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Headpat City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Headpat Centralian economy, worth a remarkable 3,920 trillion florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 266,451 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

An internet search for the word "bland" produces pictures of Leader, children are often observed making 'sand angels' in bunkers, a well-funded social safety net protects the unfortunate, and diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Headpat Central's national animal is the fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Headpat Central is ranked 1,447^th in the world and 24^th in The East Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 4,649.12 on the Clooney Contribution Index.