The Empire of Layarteb is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the Emperor with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, triple-decker prams, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 44.684 billion Columbians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Columbia City. The average income tax rate is 1.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Layartebian economy, worth a remarkable 9,781 trillion Columbian dollars a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 218,899 Columbian dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

News headlines usually include p-values, a broken arm or leg no longer costs an arm and a leg, the nation is wading into dangerous waters, and charity workers were first up against the wall when the time came. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Layarteb's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Layarteb is ranked 179,308^th in the world and 37^th in New York for Highest Food Quality, scoring 13.32 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.