The United Protectorate of Tepertopia is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Gerhard von Selingen with a fair hand, and remarkable for its public floggings, otherworldly petting zoo, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 9.511 billion Tepertopians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Happelstein. The average income tax rate is 41.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Tepertopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,322 trillion Silkes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 139,009 Silkes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Severed limbs litter woodland edges across the land, kids building model rockets in their backyard are grounded by Space Agency Rangers, sharing vacation pictures requires written consent from the entire beach resort, and sex changes are routinely performed at Tepertopia's hospitals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tepertopia's national animal is the housecat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cake Supremacy.

Tepertopia is ranked 13,305^th in the world and 311^th in the South Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 1,523.11 on the Clooney Contribution Index.