The Republic of Own Diaion is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its disturbing lack of elderly people, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 9.648 billion Own Diaionians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 38.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Own Diaionian economy, worth 276 trillion baht a year, is quite specialized and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 28,702 baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Athletic teenagers are among the wealthiest members of society, excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions, agriculture is heavily subsidized by the government, and politicians sweat as journalists scour internet archives for any mention of them. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Own Diaion's national animal is the parrot, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Own Diaion is ranked 137,889^th in the world and 5,665^th in Balder for Safest, scoring 65.72 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.