The Holy Empire of Kaputsylstan is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, pith helmet sales, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.04 billion Kaputsylstanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Constantinople. The average income tax rate is 84.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Kaputsylstanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,661 trillion Bitcoins a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 189,562 Bitcoins, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

All work and no play has rendered the nation's children somewhat intelligent but also remarkably dull, all the cool kids have tetanus, all facts are created equal, and thorough preparation of street foods defeats the purpose of really fast food. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kaputsylstan's national animal is the Honey Badger, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kaputsylstan is ranked 298,871^st in the world and 211^th in Fifth Empire for Fattest Citizens, with 4.73 Obesity Rate.