The Hellish landscape of HELLLLL is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Bootleg Satan with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, rampant corporate plagiarism, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 8.831 billion HELLLLLians enjoy great individual freedoms in everything except elections, which, where they exist at all, are populist shams for a dictatorship government that has no intention of ever giving up power.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Healthcare and Industry are also considered important, while Education and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dissapointment. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 16.4%.

The frighteningly efficient HELLLLLian economy, worth a remarkable 1,017 trillion Golds a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 115,177 Golds, with the richest citizens earning 6.1 times as much as the poorest.

Jury duty means front row seats to a spectacular show, turnstile jumpers grow up to be tax cheats, surfers ride tsunamis of record height and toxicity, and complaining about Christmas music in October is a ho-ho-horrendous crime. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. HELLLLL's national animal is the Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

HELLLLL is ranked 293,507^th in the world and 1,501^st in Europe for Lowest Crime Rates, with 3.6 law-abiding acts per hour.