by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 641stMost Ignorant Citizens: 868thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 963rd
The Hellish landscape of
Compulsory Consumerist State
The Dark Lord Cometh
Bootleg Satan
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards


Population2.945 billion

LeaderBootleg Satan


The Hellish landscape of HELLLLL is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Bootleg Satan with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, absence of drug laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.945 billion HELLLLLians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Education and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dissapointment. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.0%.

The all-consuming HELLLLLian economy, worth 260 trillion Golds a year, is led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 88,612 Golds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 258,121 per year while the poor average 24,051, a ratio of 10.7 to 1.

Closed universities are currently being converted into McRonald's restaurants, savvy nightclub-goers know that structurally unsound venues sell the cheapest drinks, dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission, and enemy agents are generally eliminated with extreme prejudice. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. HELLLLL's national animal is the Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

HELLLLL is ranked 213,351st in the world and 139th in New Western Empire for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -21.21 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Most Valuable International Artwork: 641stMost Ignorant Citizens: 868thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 963rdHighest Crime Rates: 1,018thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,069thMost Avoided: 1,531stTop
Most Primitive: 2,626thFattest Citizens: 2,939thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,965thLargest Retail Industry: 5,982ndLargest Mining Sector: 6,485thMost Influential: 6,860thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,481stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 7,951stMost Armed: 8,515thMost Rebellious Youth: 8,608thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,108thTop
Most Corrupt Governments: 11,243rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16,017thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 19,675thHighest Drug Use: 21,066th
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 3rd in the regionMost Avoided: 4th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 6th in the regionFattest Citizens: 6th in the regionTop
Most Extreme: 9th in the regionNudest: 9th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 10th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 10th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 11th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 13th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 13th in the region

National Happenings

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