The Commonwealth of Elvengaard is a massive, cultured nation, renowned for its ritual sacrifices, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.047 billion Elvengaardians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Iliria. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Elvengaardian economy, worth 108 trillion Illyriums a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 103,495 Illyriums, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, wealthy pranksters dump refuse on unsuspecting citizens from up high, a major piece of minority legislation allows a majority of minority interests to majorly undermine majority politics, and practising saying 'how now brown cow' is an essential part of holiday planning. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Elvengaard's national animal is the Peacock, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Elvengaard is ranked 148,920^th in the world and 7,556^th in Lazarus for Largest Black Market, with 1.16 trillion Standard Monetary Units.