The Matriarchy of Sgaana is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by The Pod of the Immortal 8 Matriarch Orca with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, anti-smoking policies, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate population of 3.599 billion Orca are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Abundant Waters of Southern Oceans. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Giga-Pod economy, worth 375 trillion Salmonidaes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 104,353 Salmonidaes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Government employees have reverted to carrier pigeon due to never-ending virus scans, people accuse the government of being in bed with Big Safety, the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers, and exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sgaana's national animal is the Captive Human Trapped in a Bathtub, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Imprisoning Humans in their Own Bathtubs.

Sgaana is ranked 284,359^th in the world and 5,213^th in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -14.59 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.