The Democratic Republic of Congo is a gargantuan, cultured nation, notable for its rum-swilling pirates, rampant corporate plagiarism, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 28.003 billion Congoans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Congoan economy, worth a remarkable 5,148 trillion Francs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 183,858 Francs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,701,059 per year while the poor average 1,923, a ratio of 884 to 1.

People experiencing anaphylactic shock are told to buck their ideas up, foreign lack of enthusiasm for Congoan nose-flute disco metal is seen as a reasonable casus belli, the populace has a pathological fear of computers more advanced than pocket calculators, and the police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Congo's national animal is the Silverback, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Congo is ranked 665^th in the world and 1^st in Africa for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 22,511.09 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.