The United Nations of Opiachus is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Secretary-General Lee with an even hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, hatred of cheese, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 8.729 billion Opians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The medium-sized, liberal, pro-business government prioritizes Education, with Defense, Industry, and Social Policy also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Opiachus. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 32.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Opian economy, worth a remarkable 1,146 trillion dollars a year, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 131,351 dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 739,679 per year while the poor average 11,501, a ratio of 64.3 to 1.

One-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man, the official Opian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, unused plastic recycling bins are being dumped into landfills by the tonne, and fistfighting vigilantes tend to suffer a lot of gunshot wounds. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Opiachus's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Opiachus is ranked 284,138^th in the world and 23^rd in Free Market Federation for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -17.03 on the Clooney Contribution Index.