The Republic of Cafe1 is a tiny, pleasant nation, notable for its irreverence towards religion. The hard-working population of 9 million Cafe1ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 21.4%.

The Cafe1ian economy, worth 385 billion marks a year, is led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 42,786 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Harry Potter books are banned, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, the experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Leopard Dung" has been declared a national treasure, and elderly tribespeople die in bed surrounded by loved ones and linguists. Crime is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cafe1's national animal is the leopard.

Cafe1 is ranked 184,889^th in the world and 6^th in Hellebores Commonwealth for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 315.13 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.