The Colony of Self-Titled is a colossal, socially progressive nation, renowned for its state-planned economy and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 5.179 billion Self-Titledians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 47.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Self-Titledian economy, worth 77.5 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Cheese Exports, Furniture Restoration, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 14,963 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets, and hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Self-Titled's national animal is the dinosaur, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Self-Titled is ranked 139,073^rd in the world and 2,265^th in Artificial Solar System for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,478.48 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.