The Colossal United States of Bertavia is a gargantuan, safe nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, complete lack of public education, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 30.268 billion Bertavians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Bertavian economy, worth a remarkable 8,426 trillion Bertavian Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 278,381 Bertavian Dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,578,048 per year while the poor average 2,880, a ratio of 895 to 1.

Police deploy tear-gas on unruly kindergarteners, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys, the poorest Bertavians live in 'the stacks', and teenage boys are raving about how the latest AI assistant sounds exactly like a sexy movie star. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Bertavia's national animal is the Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Bertavia is ranked 4,486^th in the world and 3^rd in Anteria for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 7,784.42 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.