The Curial Republic of Zyrcrestia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by the Camerlengo with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, free-roaming dinosaurs, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 29.684 billion Zyrcrestians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government is primarily concerned with Education, although Environment, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zyrtulai. The average income tax rate is 72.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zyrcrestian economy, worth a remarkable 7,524 trillion zyrces a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 253,502 zyrces, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Zyrcrestian Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation, giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why the Camerlengo is a silly poophead, Zyrcrestian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about the Camerlengo, and red fabric is banned. Crime is totally unknown. Zyrcrestia's national animal is the raven, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Zyrcrestia is ranked 287,616^th in the world and 754^th in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -524.69 on the Scary Big Number Scale.