The Gracious State of Kanzlia is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Aletta Nowaki with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, complete lack of prisons, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.236 billion Kanzlians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Szbedansk. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 91.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Kanzlian economy, worth a remarkable 2,725 trillion Kanzlian Gelders a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 205,893 Kanzlian Gelders, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 664,353 per year while the poor average 48,258, a ratio of 13.8 to 1.

The military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", children as young as eight can present logical proofs for the existence of the afterlife, prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams, and ladies are meant to gush with enthusiasm if they get a new vacuum cleaner for their birthday. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kanzlia's national animal is the Giant Seaprowler, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kanzlia is ranked 8,444^th in the world and 6^th in Esportiva for Lowest Crime Rates, with 108.25 law-abiding acts per hour.