The Imperial Republic of Holy Tedalonia is a titanic, efficient nation, notable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed population of 14.735 billion Tedalonians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Healthcare, and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tedstantinople. The average income tax rate is 49.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Tedalonian economy, worth a remarkable 2,048 trillion Toins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 139,030 Toins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The silencing of dissent speaks volumes about the quality of Tedalonian democracy, constipated-looking politicians are uptight about potty mouths, truancy is as easy as clicking a camera icon, and the only soporific permitted during sermons is the preacher's voice. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holy Tedalonia's national animal is the Direwolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Holy Tedalonia is ranked 286,848^th in the world and 15,259^th in Osiris for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 24.58 on the Bus Surprisal Index.