The Woot woot woot I feel free of Cerb is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Dr Cerberus T Dawg with an iron fist, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, public floggings, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 29.165 billion Cerbadeedoodahs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Spirituality, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the Dawg pound. The average income tax rate is 55.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cerblicious economy, worth a remarkable 4,462 trillion smileys a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Pizza Delivery, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 153,023 smileys, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental, apprentice builders get teased for wearing hard hats, blind students are at a disadvantage now that test papers printed in braille have been discontinued, and preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cerb's national animal is the fluffy little puppy, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is 24th day Dawgist.

Cerb is ranked 265,834^th in the world and 373^rd in 10000 Islands for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 24.33 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.