The Illuminated Path of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Professor Fate with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, disturbing lack of elderly people, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 30.794 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth an astonishing 13,630 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 442,647 $$s, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,122,977 per year while the poor average 4,275, a ratio of 964 to 1.

It is said that a Captain Woodhousean woman's work is never done, subsidisation of Big Pharma has stopped many corporate executives from having to sell their second homes, citizens who become homeless are immediately executed, and court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 68,282^nd in the world and 8^th in Islam for Most Developed, scoring 71.29 on the Human Development Index.