The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by T J Eckleburg with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, vat-grown people, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 18.493 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth a remarkable 4,051 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 219,082 $$s, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

New urban roads are threatening city parks, hunters often become the hunted, the nation's first space rocket -- sponsored by Eckie-Ecola and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed, and athletic teenagers are among the wealthiest members of society. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 18,296^th in the world and 14^th in BLITZKRIEG for Most Stationary, with 924.79150535528 Days.