Population | 19.944 billion |
Capital | The Valley of Ashes |
Leader | T J Eckleburg |
Faith | Aubrey-Maturinism |
Currency | $$ |
Animal | Death's-head hawkmoth |
The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by T J Eckleburg with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, keen interest in outer space, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 19.944 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.
The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.8%.
The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth a remarkable 4,948 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 248,112 $$s, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 743,226 per year while the poor average 64,736, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.
Bruised children are made to thank their bullies for the valuable life lessons, people are often woken up by rubbish music, it's best not to ask what goes into The Valley Of Ashes Fried Chicken's secret blend of herbs and spices, and people talk about things being better when men were men. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.
Captain Woodhouse is ranked 239,582nd in the world and 20th in BLITZKRIEG for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 8.2 Tourists Per Hour.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in
Captain Woodhouse, people talk about things being better when men were men.
- : Following new legislation in
Captain Woodhouse, it's best not to ask what goes into The Valley Of Ashes Fried Chicken's secret blend of herbs and spices.
- : Following new legislation in
Captain Woodhouse, people are often woken up by rubbish music.
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Captain Woodhouse was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate.
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Captain Woodhouse was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Smartest Citizens.
- : Following new legislation in
Captain Woodhouse, bruised children are made to thank their bullies for the valuable life lessons.
- : Following new legislation in
Captain Woodhouse, takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears.
- : Following new legislation in
Captain Woodhouse, a stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal.
- : Following new legislation in
Captain Woodhouse, you can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule Captain Woodhouse but at least the trains run on time.
- : Following new legislation in
Captain Woodhouse, exports of chewing gum are inexplicably falling.