by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 7thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 696thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,001st
The Substitutiary Locomotion of
Compulsory Consumerist State
Skin on skin, let the love begin
Influence
Ambassador
Funslinger
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Captain Woodhouse

Population18.493 billion

CapitalThe Valley of Ashes
LeaderT J Eckleburg
FaithAubrey-Maturinism

Currency$$
AnimalDeath's-head hawkmoth

The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by T J Eckleburg with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, vat-grown people, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 18.493 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth a remarkable 4,051 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 219,082 $$s, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

New urban roads are threatening city parks, hunters often become the hunted, the nation's first space rocket -- sponsored by Eckie-Ecola and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed, and athletic teenagers are among the wealthiest members of society. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 18,296th in the world and 14th in BLITZKRIEG for Most Stationary, with 924.79150535528 Days.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 7thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 696thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,001stHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,494thMost Efficient Economies: 1,629thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,812thHighest Crime Rates: 1,975thMost Armed: 2,005thTop
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 2,134thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,389thLargest Retail Industry: 2,464thHighest Economic Output: 2,565thFattest Citizens: 2,685thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,363rdMost Avoided: 3,656thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,106thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,343rdLargest Publishing Industry: 4,692ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,730thHighest Average Incomes: 4,928thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5,929thRudest Citizens: 5,944thMost Cultured: 5,979thLargest Insurance Industry: 6,655thMost Secular: 6,721stLargest Mining Sector: 7,116thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,202ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 7,376thLargest Populations: 7,586thLargest Black Market: 8,225thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,624thTop
10%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 12,792ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 13,470thHighest Poor Incomes: 13,539thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 14,330thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 18,096thMost Stationary: 18,296thLargest Governments: 18,897thMost Influential: 20,671st
Top
5%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Largest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost Cultured: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, athletic teenagers are among the wealthiest members of society.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, the nation's first space rocket -- sponsored by Eckie-Ecola and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, hunters often become the hunted.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, new urban roads are threatening city parks.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Captain Woodhouse as a reminder of their "special relationship".
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, the Counter-Terrorism Unit has been nicknamed "Big Bad Wolf" for its tendency towards urban demolition.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, citizens are permitted to carry concealed handguns.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, heavily-armed commandos play rock-paper-scissors over whether to execute criminals and foreign visitors.
  • : Captain Woodhouse was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Armed.
  • : Following new legislation in Captain Woodhouse, dentists routinely perform open heart surgery.

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