The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by T J Eckleburg with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, keen interest in outer space, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 19.944 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth a remarkable 4,948 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 248,112 $$s, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 743,226 per year while the poor average 64,736, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.

Bruised children are made to thank their bullies for the valuable life lessons, people are often woken up by rubbish music, it's best not to ask what goes into The Valley Of Ashes Fried Chicken's secret blend of herbs and spices, and people talk about things being better when men were men. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 239,582^nd in the world and 20^th in BLITZKRIEG for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 8.2 Tourists Per Hour.