The Peoples Republic of New United Common-lands is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Jezza Corbyn with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, vat-grown people, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.696 billion Commoners are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ascension City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Common-lands economy, worth a remarkable 2,677 trillion Common Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 307,849 Common Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Common-lands tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation, passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, Common-lands scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack, and the "fire department" is often called to remove offensive religious texts. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New United Common-lands's national animal is the Dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Common Yodlism.

New United Common-lands is ranked 291,148^th in the world and 303^rd in The Region That Has No Big Banks for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.19 kickbacks per hour.