The Empire of Spider Lovers Anonymous is a large, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws. The hard-working, democratic, devout population of 62 million Spiders enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The tiny, liberal government prioritizes Spirituality, with Defense, Welfare, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Industry and Social Policy are ignored. The average income tax rate is 8.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Spider Lovers Anonymousian economy, worth 3.18 trillion bitcoins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Cheese Exports, and Gambling. Average income is 51,263 bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present, EpiPen sales have skyrocketed, the fattest folk in Spider Lovers Anonymous look to be the happiest ones, and when flight control tells pilots to alter course the usual reply is "No, YOU move!". Crime is moderate, probably because of the absence of a police force. Spider Lovers Anonymous's national animal is the penguin, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Spider Lovers Anonymous is ranked 140,723^rd in the world and 1^st in The Eastern Badlands for Most Patriotic, with 10.59 flags saluted per person per day.