The Free Islands of The Coarsal Pirates is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by High Captain Balman with a fair hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, daily referendums, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 7.363 billion Pirates live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Law & Order and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blacklake Isle. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Coarsal economy, worth a remarkable 2,640 trillion gold marks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 358,570 gold marks, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

The military will start wars with other nations on a lark, nuclear submarines have been deployed to protect the nation's banana supply, youth rights demonstrations often end in vicious snowball fights, and refugees from other nations are flocking to The Coarsal Pirates's border. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Coarsal Pirates's national animal is the kraken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Alcoholism.

The Coarsal Pirates is ranked 285,593^rd in the world and 10,649^th in Osiris for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -33.62 on the Clooney Contribution Index.