The Absolute Units of Schitz is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a bell end with an iron fist, and renowned for its strictly enforced bedtime, aversion to nipples, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 36.903 billion utter morons are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Spirituality, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Schmendrik. The income tax rate is 100%.

The very strong full on idiot economy, worth a remarkable 7,385 trillion Bills a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 200,122 Bills, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Asking 'a penny for your thoughts?' draws law enforcement response, God took rock and roll from you, took rock and roll from everyone, the sky (and your feet) are the limit, and bilingual utter morons are viewed with suspicion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schitz's national animal is the grundle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is mostly shouting at people.

Schitz is ranked 43,457^th in the world and 2^nd in Gatesville Inc for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 4,426.17 on the Gilded Widget Scale.