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The Stupid Troglodytes of Schitz

“Altered Beast?”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: Gatesville Inc

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The Stupid Troglodytes of Schitz is a gargantuan, devout nation, ruled by a bell end with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory vegetarianism. The compassionate, cynical population of 15.984 billion utter morons are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of the Environment, Law & Order, and Religion & Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

All news sources are under strict government control, politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income, the 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event, and every citizen must submit to DNA testing to be eliminated from police inquiries. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schitz's national animal is the worthless husk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is mostly shouting at people, and its currency is the bill.

Schitz is ranked 122nd in Gatesville Inc and 115,375th in the world for Largest Agricultural Sector, scoring -25 on the Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 13 hours ago

  • 11 hours ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, every citizen must submit to DNA testing to be eliminated from police inquiries.
  • 2 days 11 hours ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, the 'kind of scrawny' 500 meter hurdle is a popular event.
  • 3 days 11 hours ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income.
  • 3 days 11 hours ago: Schitz voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Liberate The Black Riders".
  • 3 days 23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, all news sources are under strict government control.
  • 3 days 23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, survivors receive aid from only the most environmentally-friendly transport.
  • 4 days ago: Schitz endorsed The Federation of Greater Teflon.
  • 7 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, anyone who so much as frowns is referred to a mental health unit.
  • 7 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, strange looking men with big red noses are found hiding behind bushes and inside dustbins.
  • 7 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, dark alleys and public toilets are filled with furtive sexual activities among teenagers and unmarried adults.

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by Max Barry

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