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The Stupid Troglodytes of Schitz

“Altered Beast?”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: Gatesville Inc

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The Stupid Troglodytes of Schitz is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a bell end with an iron fist, and notable for its strong anti-business policies. The compassionate, cynical population of 15.914 billion utter morons are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of the Environment, Law & Order, and Religion & Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight, Rupert Bear is considered to be the most risqué TV programme in Schitz, the government seizes private property for the 'good of the people', and an enormous health awareness programme is underway. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schitz's national animal is the worthless husk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, its national religion is mostly shouting at people, and its currency is the bill.

Schitz is ranked 3rd in Gatesville Inc and 117th in the world for Safest, scoring 2,857.2 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 10 hours ago

  • 7 minutes ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, an enormous health awareness programme is underway.
  • 10 hours ago: Schitz voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Individual Working Freedoms".
  • 2 days 12 hours ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, the government seizes private property for the 'good of the people'.
  • 2 days 20 hours ago: Schitz voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Liberate Panem"".
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, Rupert Bear is considered to be the most risqué TV programme in Schitz.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, people reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight.
  • 7 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, emergency room admissions for 'stampede injuries' have skyrocketed since the introduction of weekly Sabbath Eve sales.
  • 10 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, research into 'designer babies' is banned.
  • 11 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, loans are available for students from poor families.
  • 12 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries.

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by Max Barry

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