Most Devout: 23rd Most Beautiful Environments: 74th Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 88th
The Stupid Troglodytes of
Psychotic Dictatorship
Altered Beast?
Regional Influence
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Stupid Troglodytes of Schitz is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by a bell end with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, aversion to nipples, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 20.474 billion utter morons are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Spirituality, and Education. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The enormous but underdeveloped Schitzian economy, worth a remarkable 1,663 trillion bills a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 81,266 bills, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Women who display their ankles are shunned by society, criminals are executed and their property seized, the military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists, and top-shelf magazines feature risqué centrefold spreads of ladies' wrists. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Schitz's national animal is the worthless husk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is mostly shouting at people.

Schitz is ranked 184,095th in the world and 32nd in Gatesville Inc for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -72.66 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Most Devout: 23rdMost Beautiful Environments: 74thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 88thBest Weather: 106thMost Pacifist: 109thLongest Average Lifespans: 173rdLowest Crime Rates: 200thMost Compassionate Citizens: 299thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 365thLargest Governments: 692ndMost Influential: 756thNicest Citizens: 950thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,064thMost Conservative: 1,127thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,325thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,454thTop
Healthiest Citizens: 1,904thSmartest Citizens: 2,001stMost Authoritarian: 2,730thLargest Populations: 3,007thHighest Economic Output: 5,560thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,722ndMost Stationary: 6,337thMost Extreme: 6,461stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7,802ndTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 14,305th
Most Extreme: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionTop
Most Pacifist: 2nd in the regionMost Conservative: 2nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2nd in the regionLargest Governments: 2nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionBest Weather: 2nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Schitz, top-shelf magazines feature risqué centrefold spreads of ladies' wrists.
  • : Schitz was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Schitz, the military patrols the streets in search of possible secessionists.
  • : Following new legislation in Schitz, criminals are executed and their property seized.
  • : Following new legislation in Schitz, women who display their ankles are shunned by society.
  • : Schitz voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Condemn DEN"".
  • : Following new legislation in Schitz, politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes.
  • : Following new legislation in Schitz, parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list.
  • : Following new legislation in Schitz, all work and no play has rendered the nation's children somewhat intelligent but also remarkably dull.
  • : Following new legislation in Schitz, the mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 5 » Crooked Truth, Randlia, Scuyuup, Schlemeils, and The War Loving People.

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by Max Barry

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