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The Stupid Troglodytes of Schitz

“Altered Beast?”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: Gatesville Inc

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The Stupid Troglodytes of Schitz is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by a bell end with an iron fist, and remarkable for its hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cynical population of 16.808 billion utter morons are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Law & Order, and Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The large but stagnant Schitzian economy, worth 212 trillion bills a year, is driven entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 12,615 bills, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Police and sick people alike fear the Day of Rest as all institutions are forced to shut down, Schitz's newly-famous raindances to summon storms instead attract tourists from all over Gatesville Inc, the police have been swamped with requests to stay up past bedtime, and a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schitz's national animal is the worthless husk, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is mostly shouting at people.

Schitz is ranked 2nd in Gatesville Inc and 84th in the world for Most Beautiful Environments, with 5,967.2 Pounds of Wildlife less Pounds of Concrete per square mile.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 3 hours ago

  • 2 hours ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway.
  • 3 hours ago: Schitz voted against the World Assembly Resolution "War Crimes Tribunal".
  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, the police have been swamped with requests to stay up past bedtime.
  • 1 day 1 hour ago: Schitz voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Liberate The Mountains to the East"".
  • 3 days 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, Schitz's newly-famous raindances to summon storms instead attract tourists from all over Gatesville Inc.
  • 3 days 21 hours ago: Schitz voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Marine Debris Accord"".
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, police and sick people alike fear the Day of Rest as all institutions are forced to shut down.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, the mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Schitz, pro-democracy protesters are shot on sight by state police.
  • 5 days ago: Schitz voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Westwind".

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by Max Barry

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