The Republic of Kyland is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Sheldon von Pumpernickel III with an even hand, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, devout population of 4.811 billion Kylandians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Welfare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fagerburg. The average income tax rate is 56.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Kylandian economy, worth 142 trillion Aquilites a year, is quite specialized and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Pizza Delivery, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 29,711 Aquilites, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Class clowns are frequently listed among the most dangerous criminals in the nation, the intelligence community is playing 4-D chess with an imaginary spy network, it takes months to get the proper permits for a child's first tricycle, and school guidance counselors recommend monastic vows as an alternative to higher education. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kyland's national animal is the Koala, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kyland is ranked 45,877^th in the world and 63^rd in Gay for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 668.19 on the Clooney Contribution Index.