The Free Land of Eskew is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its state-planned economy, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 703 million Eskewians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 53.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Eskewian economy, worth 27.5 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 39,116 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cricket farmers use magnifying glasses to fit every member of their herd with tiny tracking tags, Eskew recently decided against having a capital city, almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices, and banning party poppers has been a real party pooper. Crime is totally unknown. Eskew's national animal is the crow, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Eskew is ranked 83,128^th in the world and 2,195^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 2,525.86 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.