The United States of Colombica is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Chief Executor Andrew Adams with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, enslaved workforce, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 5.066 billion Colombicans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Masonia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.4%.

The powerhouse Colombican economy, worth 464 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Cheese Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 91,683 Dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 626,202 per year while the poor average 4,857, a ratio of 128 to 1.

Colombican farm salmon are known for being both horribly diseased and remarkably acrobatic, Tom and Jerry cartoons have cat and mouse resolving their problems with reasoned discussion, shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities, and running away is an essential part of the elite forces' hand-to-hand training. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Colombica's national animal is the Wild Turkey, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Colombica is ranked 81,974^th in the world and 4,467^th in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 2,144.3 on the Gilded Widget Scale.