The Republic of Bawhistan is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Azmaray Jalbani with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, complete lack of prisons, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.798 billion Bawhistanis are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Parachinar. The average income tax rate is 66.2%.

The powerhouse Bawhistani economy, worth a remarkable 1,234 trillion Rupees a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 126,000 Rupees, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

The government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens, it's a miracle that there aren't more plane crashes, many say faith is a crutch for those who can't move forward, and pro-democracy protesters are shot on sight by state police. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bawhistan's national animal is the Goat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Islam.

Bawhistan is ranked 259,954^th in the world and 34^th in Middle East for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 42.61 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.