The Principality of Austroslovakia is a colossal, cultured nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, parental licensing program, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.444 billion Austroslovakians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Public Transport. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Graz. The average income tax rate is 76.3%.

The Austroslovakian economy, worth 403 trillion Marks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 47,810 Marks, with the richest citizens earning 5.3 times as much as the poorest.

Parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list, the populace harbors a fierce hatred of the metric system, the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields, and Austroslovakia's leader goes out to lunch surrounded by large men in dark glasses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Austroslovakia's national animal is the Ibex.

Austroslovakia is ranked 7,117^th in the world and 10^th in Rushmore for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 2,249.26 on the Clooney Contribution Index.