The Kingdom of Almain is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Lord Elrid and Lady Aidith with an even hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 23.493 billion Almainians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Borovan. The average income tax rate is 68.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Almainian economy, worth a remarkable 1,814 trillion Mains a year, is extremely specialized and solely comprised of the Tourism industry. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 77,216 Mains, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The jackhammer is considered a tool of artistic criticism, people often feel unbalanced by their daily commute, children asking questions about science are referred to relevant sections in religious texts, and the examiners who examine examiners are being examined by examiners. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Almain's national animal is the Auroch, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is none.

Almain is ranked 258,537^th in the world and 9,000^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -182.37 on the Scary Big Number Scale.