The Republic of Alcornia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Maximum Leader with an even hand, and remarkable for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, humorless population of 40.169 billion Alcornians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The tiny, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alcornius. The average income tax rate is 2.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alcornian economy, worth an astonishing 13,449 trillion thalers a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 334,832 thalers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Code enforcement officers circle wealthy Alcornians like vultures, Maximum Leader's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy, and government theft from poor artists to give to rich allies has been dubbed the "reverse Robin Hood" policy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Alcornia's national animal is the panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Alcornia is ranked 2,735^th in the world and 1^st in 000 for Safest, scoring 141.69 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.