The Socialist Federal Republic of The Traansval is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by Jethro Kendi with a fair hand, and remarkable for its national health service, keen interest in outer space, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic population of 17.334 billion Valians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jacaranda City. The average income tax rate is 94.5%.

The all-consuming Valian economy, worth a remarkable 2,068 trillion Rand a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 119,318 Rand, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's apology for those it has executed in the last year has come a little late for some, the Violet Mile now refers to the long line-ups that former death row inmates wait in as they transfer to maximum security prisons, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, and military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Traansval's national animal is the Transvaal Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

The Traansval is ranked 298,007^th in the world and 2^nd in Federation of Allies for Most Primitive, scoring -300.19 on the Scary Big Number Scale.