The Evil Conservative Empire of The Palentine is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Empress Jhessan Spaulding with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, unlimited-speed roads, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 46.577 billion Palentineans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Burgh. The average income tax rate is 32.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Palentinean economy, worth an astonishing 16,419 trillion greenbacks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 352,524 greenbacks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Government debts are financed through alchemy, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction, citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes, and heated town halls quickly descend into shootouts between politicians and their constituents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Palentine's national animal is the sphinxian treecat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Reaganism.

The Palentine is ranked 2,262^nd in the world and 2^nd in Antarctic Oasis for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 8,026.76 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.