The Evil Conservative Empire of The Palentine is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Empress Jhessan Spaulding with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, smutty television, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 30.793 billion Palentineans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Burgh. The average income tax rate is 2.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Palentinean economy, worth a remarkable 8,650 trillion greenbacks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 280,915 greenbacks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, graffiti graces every city's streets, the controversial show 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?' has become wildly popular, and the government blames all suspicious phenomena on flying saucers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Palentine's national animal is the sphinxian treecat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Reaganism.

The Palentine is ranked 158,016^th in the world and 29^th in Antarctic Oasis for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -31.14 on the Clooney Contribution Index.