The Evil Conservative Empire of The Palentine is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Empress Jhessan Spaulding with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 33.504 billion Palentineans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Burgh. The average income tax rate is 4.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Palentinean economy, worth a remarkable 9,780 trillion greenbacks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 291,915 greenbacks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Creative compliance measures ensure that high-ranking officials live in luxury while the country's coffers collect cobwebs, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls, and maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Palentine's national animal is the sphinxian treecat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Reaganism.

The Palentine is ranked 216,846^th in the world and 15^th in Antarctic Oasis for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 9.18 Tourists Per Hour.