The Evil Conservative Empire of The Palentine is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Empress Jhessan Spaulding with an even hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, free-roaming dinosaurs, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 37.421 billion Palentineans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Burgh. The average income tax rate is 22.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Palentinean economy, worth an astonishing 12,894 trillion greenbacks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 344,572 greenbacks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, translators have been hired to deal with the varying regional accents during national political debates, 4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days', and Reaganism now admits men and women into its clergy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Palentine's national animal is the sphinxian treecat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Reaganism.

The Palentine is ranked 3,585^th in the world and 7^th in Antarctic Oasis for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 7,291.51 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.