The Allied States of The Eshurium Empire is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Douglas Lockjaw Jr with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, frequent executions, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, devout population of 8.708 billion Eshuriumeans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Hermeton. The average income tax rate is 66.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Eshuriumean economy, worth a remarkable 1,221 trillion Eshuriumean Bisonlers a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 140,328 Eshuriumean Bisonlers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father, seafood restaurants assure customers 'If it lives in the sea, it's on our menu', the new cheese tax is colloquially known as "wheel welfare", and rumor has it that Douglas Lockjaw Jr has won three lotteries in a row. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Eshurium Empire's national animal is the Bison, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Hermisim.

The Eshurium Empire is ranked 16,875^th in the world and 7^th in Kerbals of the North for Smartest Citizens, with 73.8 quips per hour.