The Allied States of The Eshurium Empire is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Douglas Lockjaw Jr with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, devout population of 1.403 billion Eshuriumeans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Hermeton. The average income tax rate is 60.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Eshuriumean economy, worth 189 trillion Eshuriumean Bisonlers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 135,105 Eshuriumean Bisonlers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Young people crowd pizza parlors praying to 'The Supreme Pizza, His Immaculate Munchiness', forest fires have dropped dramatically as there are hardly any forests left, holiday light displays just aren't the same without seizure-inducing strobe effects, and the navy is chrome-plating its battleships to prevent rust. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Eshurium Empire's national animal is the Bison, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Hermisim.

The Eshurium Empire is ranked 285,982^nd in the world and 99^th in Kerbals of the North for Most Primitive, scoring -206.22 on the Scary Big Number Scale.