The Theocracy of Teutonic-Livonian Union is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Lilia Lacis with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, public floggings, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 13.55 billion Nuns are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Riga. The average income tax rate is 50.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Teutonic-Livonian Unionian economy, worth 720 trillion Talers a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 53,192 Talers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Gun-wielding gangsters sometimes deal death from as far as ten paces away, the government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress, nursing mothers are often arrested for indecent exposure, and newspapers are running a front-page picture of Lilia Lacis holding a crowbar and standing over a bloodied stockbroker. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teutonic-Livonian Union's national animal is the Imperial Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Teutonic-Livonian Union is ranked 215,600^th in the world and 7,341^st in Osiris for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 49.01 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.