The Republic of Tessen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Josiah Colten with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, anti-smoking policies, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cheerful, devout population of 47.141 billion Tessens are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Liberty. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Tessen economy, worth an astonishing 17,355 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 368,154 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

The Liberal Progressive and Progressive Liberal parties swear that they have totally different ideologies, residents of new housing subdivisions complain about the total absence of supermarkets and restaurants, the education system is being cleansed of all corporate influence, and statistics show that terrorists often come from broken families. Crime is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Tessen's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is the Lutheran Church.

Tessen is ranked 359^th in the world and 1^st in American Union for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 367,786.38 Standard Monetary Units.