by Max Barry

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Most Cultured: 239thHighest Economic Output: 252ndMost Devout: 254th
The Republic of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
In God We Trust
Influence
Hegemony
Founder / Story Director
Civil Rights
Below Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Tessen

Population33.606 billion

CapitalLiberty
LeaderPresident James Reagan
Faiththe Lutheran Church

Currencydollar
Animaleagle

The Republic of Tessen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President James Reagan with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, aversion to nipples, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 33.606 billion Tessens have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Liberty. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 49.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Tessen economy, worth an astonishing 12,367 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 368,015 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,125,926 per year while the poor average 93,173, a ratio of 12.1 to 1.

Orientation videos remind rookie female politicians that slaps on the bottom are perfectly acceptable forms of communication, Eagle is one of the most popular forenames in Tessen, women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms, and voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tessen's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is the Lutheran Church.

Tessen is ranked 404th in the world and 1st in American Union for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 14,136.23 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Cultured: 239thHighest Economic Output: 252ndMost Devout: 254thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 322ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 402ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 404thRudest Citizens: 448thMost Efficient Economies: 456thLargest Retail Industry: 514thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 621stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 626thMost Scientifically Advanced: 642ndHighest Average Incomes: 1,004thSafest: 1,077thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,086thSmartest Citizens: 1,128thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,166thLargest Populations: 1,167thLowest Crime Rates: 1,248thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,434thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,467thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,653rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,809thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,836thHighest Disposable Incomes: 2,016thTop
5%
Most Developed: 2,148thLargest Governments: 2,326thMost Rebellious Youth: 2,426thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 3,354thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,564thMost Avoided: 3,565thLongest Average Lifespans: 4,706thLargest Mining Sector: 4,859thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,904thMost Influential: 5,016thHealthiest Citizens: 5,093rdMost Advanced Public Education: 5,209thNudest: 5,411thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,576thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,948thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,247thTop
10%
Highest Poor Incomes: 11,132nd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Tessen was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, Eagle is one of the most popular forenames in Tessen.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, orientation videos remind rookie female politicians that slaps on the bottom are perfectly acceptable forms of communication.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, an aboriginal talking stick is used for leaders' debates at election time.
  • : Tessen was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, apprentice builders get teased for wearing hard hats.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Tessen Liberator".
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, glittering new sports stadiums adorn every city and town.

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