by Max Barry

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Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 283rd Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 325th Highest Economic Output: 406th
The Republic of
Capitalist Paradise
In God We Trust
Influence
Hegemony
Founder / Story Director
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Some

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Deck

Tessen

Population29.257 billion

CapitalColumbia
LeaderPresident James Reagan
FaithProtestantism

Currencydollar
Animaleagle

The Republic of Tessen is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President James Reagan with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, avowedly heterosexual populace, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful, devout population of 29.257 billion Tessens are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Columbia. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Tessen economy, worth a remarkable 8,568 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 292,884 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 994,618 per year while the poor average 63,628, a ratio of 15.6 to 1.

Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets, young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts, town nameplates frequently raise giggles from passing tourists, and young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery. Crime is totally unknown. Tessen's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Protestantism.

Tessen is ranked 15,531st in the world and 1st in American Union for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 4,936.88 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.

Top
1%
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 283rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 325thHighest Economic Output: 406thLargest Information Technology Sector: 411thMost Cultured: 510thLargest Retail Industry: 630thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 635thMost Devout: 679thHighest Disposable Incomes: 691stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 757thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 761stMost Cheerful Citizens: 810thMost Efficient Economies: 871stMost Scientifically Advanced: 950thLargest Populations: 1,276thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,316thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,505thHighest Average Incomes: 1,531stTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,308thMost Rebellious Youth: 2,569thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,633rdSmartest Citizens: 3,113thRudest Citizens: 3,519thSafest: 3,908thMost Influential: 3,915thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,042ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5,106thLowest Crime Rates: 5,398thHealthiest Citizens: 6,102ndMost Avoided: 7,194thLargest Agricultural Sector: 7,783rdTop
10%
Largest Governments: 10,449thLargest Mining Sector: 11,293rdLargest Black Market: 11,610thMost Developed: 13,203rdMost Advanced Public Education: 13,913thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 15,531stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 15,602ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 15,644th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Tessen updated the World Factbook entry in American Union.
  • : Tessen updated the World Factbook entry in American Union.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, town nameplates frequently raise giggles from passing tourists.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, the government has enacted freedom of information.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, the recently unemployed can often be seen at the local homeless shelter.
  • : Following new legislation in Tessen, short shrift is being given to applications for political asylum from illegal immigrants.
  • : Tessen was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate.

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