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It's not even one chapter. The pacing is bad, the grammar is sub-par, and it's barely breaking 200 words.
He's emulating Wubdich's fanfic.
"AHHHH!!!!!!!" The voice boomed!
"H-Hello?"Chi said in a nervous voice.
"H-Help!"The voice said,a scraping noise was heard
Just as Chi worked up the courage to go over there,The Noise got loud,and a car came rushing out of there.It was rushed by him."Whoa!"He said.He dropped his water bottle."Ack!"He said,Luckily,The water Had hit the grass.He picked it up,and drank it.
It was refreshing
He threw it into a trash bin.
He Walked home,he passed a Food stand,offering him some bread,he decided not to get some,he did not want to overfill their pantry.His walk took him to a construction site,they were building some more homes there,and as he skirted around it,he saw the workers working there.He waved at them,but in their work,they did not wave back
A few minutes later,when he was sitting on the couch,he saw the letter
"Hello my brother,sorry,i was out at the dance"He read."these Kidnappings are getting very bad,i mean,2 People have been kidnapped already!"The message read more-"The sooner the Police catch the Person,or persons behind this,the better"The message continued to read."Well,i will see you tonight,brother!"The message ended.
Later,at night......
Chi sat on the couch,his whole body hurt,the Sun,even at sunset,had been searing!
His brother Tex was in bed,thats when Chi heard the most loud noise ever.
A plane passed above,Signifying itself with the noise,it was heading towards the airport.
But that was not what bothered chi,this plane sounded strange,and it seemed faster,and smaller,he had never heard a plane like this before.
But he would find out,he would make sure of it.
-End of Chapter I
BLASPHEMY!!!
DEUS VULT-
... You said it wrong. Anyways...
Eons later, there's an update here.
A Slice of Life story
NationStates, the website where you can simulate being the leader of a nation and roleplay as this nation. Tens of thousands of nation exist, some more powerful than the others. These nations are located in regions of all kinds and size. One of them, the Pacific. My home-region. And a chaotic place. And one day, I sat there like all the others, and thought: ‘Why not do the same thing animes do since years, and just personify all nations as Anime Girls?’ Thus, this story was born. Thus, I welcome you, to my strange adventure through the personifications of the Pacific!
Unofficial opening:
Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town by The DU
Dispatch restructured
Since the Dispatch started lagging from too much text when editing it, Chapters will now be moved into their own Dispatches. Only the newest addition will now be shown in the Spoiler below.
Click here for:
What are you looking at? The 3rd Iteration perhaps?
[To be continued...]
He's referencing the japanese word 'Desu'.
Kathol rift, The Pacific Ring, Embauba, and New ropakstadt
I didn’t pay attention and was about to say “Don’t go so harsh, everybody has to start somewhere”, thinking it was an attempt at an actual canon nation RP.
But nevermind, you’re kinda right.
Probs forgot.
Post self-deleted by Embauba.
*furious clapping*
A chapter should have at least 500, if not 1000 words at minimum.
No.
its also my first story,no one is perfect,the first chapter will be updated later Most likely.
I've written over 1500 words for a story, and in the end, after I've read it one more time, I wasn't happy with it so I ditched it. :V I hate when this happens, why can't I write something I like first try?
Nobody does that. First drafts are standardly not perfect. That's why you take it, read it again, refine it.
There's no perfect first try.
Still, it kinda sucks when you realize there's not that much to salvage from the draft.
That's BS.
The idea can be salvaged, sayings and phrases can, entire sentences can, etc.
Throwing everything away is a waste. It's the first draft. It's supposed to serve as a basis. Build on it.
"Oh hush. He was talking about the author, not the main character."
That doesn't make the statement relative.
*wink*
"Are you trying to argue meaningless points again Kari?..."
"Are you just taking Wubby's side again despite the fact that I have a valid point, Arcti?"
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