The Cheese Loving Monarchy of Gabingston is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by King Spaghet II with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 10.292 billion Pepperonis are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Callistan. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Pepperonan economy, worth a remarkable 3,081 trillion Gabings a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 299,381 Gabings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,187,467 per year while the poor average 50,972, a ratio of 23.3 to 1.

There's no cure or sympathy for the common cold, stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence, agricultural employees work for peanuts, and the smell of napalm in the morning is usually alongside grilled Goose. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gabingston's national animal is the Goose, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cheesist Traditional Church.

Gabingston is ranked 17,767^th in the world and 75^th in Europeia for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 7,591.87 on the Gilded Widget Scale.