The Social Republic of Portzania is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Raissa Carvalho with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 6.254 billion Portzanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Prento Cale. The average income tax rate is 85.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Portzanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,035 trillion Grand Olives a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 165,644 Grand Olives, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kindergartners love the free balloons that their schools give them, horns and hypocrisy are the newest exports of Portzania, sick Portzanians are hair today and gone tomorrow, and babies are a small but significant export. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Portzania's national animal is the Weeping Flesh Hive, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Portzania is ranked 327,370^th in the world and 17,655^th in Osiris for Safest, scoring 4.27 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.