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Lake returns to the bar with the results of the contest

I've returned with the results of the contest.

After much giggling and guffaws I have come to the conclusion that my personal favorites were as follows:

In first place this week is-

As for the haiku,
let me think for a minute...
Yeah, I've got nothin'.

By Asphodel

Second place goes to this painful memory-

Ringing in your head
Wake up on the floor in the
Essence of brewed malt

By Iescech

Our tertiary winner has words of wisdom-

A toast to your death!
Don't drink the beer: it's toxic!
Stay sober, my friends.

By The Janitor of the Bar on the Corner

I'd like to add that it was a close contest and almost all of this week's submissions were of a quality that would make Shakespeare exclaim,

"Ye gods of rebuke,
these poems can all suck it,
I'm going to puke^*,
so bring me a bucket"

Which is high praise from the bard.

Thanks for the entertaining haiku. Drinks are on me.

^{(* Puke: 1581, first mention is the derivative pukishness (“the tendency to be sick frequently”). In 1600, "to spit up, regurgitate", recorded in the Seven Ages of Man speech in Shakespeare's As You Like It.)}