The Protoplasmic Invertebrate of New Illyricum is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Ernesto Luçeo with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, avowedly heterosexual populace, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, cynical population of 7.068 billion New Illyrians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Porto Ignaçio. The average income tax rate is 89.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong New Illyrian economy, worth 609 trillion Denarios a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is 86,286 Denarios, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Toddler groups have taken over local libraries, flu research is commonly shut down for fear of creating a superbug, roadside walls are being built and mother nature is paying for it, and in the mighty jungle the lion once again sleeps tonight. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Illyricum's national animal is the Cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Casticalism.

New Illyricum is ranked 5,199^th in the world and 15^th in The League for Safest, scoring 128.29 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.