The Sovereign University of Zetaopalatopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Edwin Elwood with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 17.324 billion Zetaopalatopians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The enormous government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Social Policy also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Administration. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Zetaopalatopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,601 trillion Merits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 207,912 Merits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Patriotic citizens simply tend to applaud rather than sing the nation's praises, vacationers and business travelers are often warned that they may lose the right to vote if they spend too much time overseas, students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations, and posing for pictures is an integral part of military training. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zetaopalatopia's national animal is the Timber Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Cult of The Hidden Moon.

Zetaopalatopia is ranked 1,866^th in the world and 71^st in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3,799.09 pounds of wildlife per square mile.