The Colony of World Authoritarian Nations Guardian is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 7.104 billion World Authoritarian Nations Guardianians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 71.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant World Authoritarian Nations Guardianian economy, worth 99.0 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Retail. Average income is 13,941 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Organ donation is compulsory, citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, and meat is a luxury afforded only to the wealthy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. World Authoritarian Nations Guardian's national animal is the dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

World Authoritarian Nations Guardian is ranked 233,236^th in the world and 2^nd in World Authoritarian Nations for Most Primitive, scoring -113.36 on the Scary Big Number Scale.