The Tsardom of Unogonduria is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Asparuh II with an iron fist, and notable for its aversion to nipples, otherworldly petting zoo, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 4.037 billion Unogondurs are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Veliki Bulgar. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Unogondurian economy, worth 601 trillion Kanə Motunəs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 148,996 Kanə Motunəs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend, spiritual tourists meditate in the ruins of Unogondurian cathedrals, rioting during the nation's hosting of ORDER caused one million Kanə Motunəs of property damage, and popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Unogonduria's national animal is the Panderichthys, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bulgar Orthodox Christianity.

Unogonduria is ranked 25,056^th in the world and 104^th in Europeia for Highest Average Incomes, with 148,996.53 Standard Monetary Units.